I gave a lecture with a theme about DREAMS today to Japanese retired professionals. there were 17 participants and 15 of them can understand and speak english pretty well. I admit that giving such lecture to them is not comfortable at all. They are people who have already reached most of their dreams and have already proven something to themselves. And here I am, as a 28 year old young professional preaching them about a topic that they already know.
What made me do that? Well, honestly, my purpose was not really to preach about dreams. Instead, I was really interested to know their opinions about dreams, how to dream, how to achieve things, what is a dream, what is a purpose, is purpose the same with dream?
Upon listening to them, I learned that most of them have not reached their personal dreams yet. Most of their plans in life are always changing because of natural life circumstances like having a family. So instead of pursuing their personal goals, they just simply set them aside and focused on how to be better parents and spouse. And I respect and admire them for that.
But there is a part of me that is now so confused. I have personal dreams for my professional growth. I am three months pregnant. Week by week, I am more convinced to limit myself in doing some stressful activities that are actually connected to my personal dreams. I know that soon, I will have to give up more, and more and more…. I am happy for the life that I am carrying now. I am excited to take care of my family.
But listening to my lecture’s attendees today for not being able to grow professionally and in other aspects of life made me think,
“Will I be able to reach my dreams?”
“Will I just be a full-time mom and wife whose life is to feed and take care of her family?”
(Don’t get me wrong, please. Being a loving wife and a mom is a great purpose in life.
“Will I just be a supporter of my husband and children’s dreams?”
Am I being selfish now for thinking this way?
I wanna be many kinds of a woman. With my little experience in life and as an expecting mom whose marriage has just started a year ago, I don’t know if I am just being idealistic that there really is a potential to be the “Many kinds of woman” I want to be.
- I wanna be a wife who’s husband is excited to hug her after a long day.
- I wanna be a cool supportive mom who can be strict too when needed.
- I wanna be a sister who’s also a bestfriend of her brother.
- I wanna be an aunt who’s loved by her nieces and nephews.
- I wanna be a daughter who gives to her parents what they deserve.
- I wanna be a sister-in-law who’s also a real sister already for her brother’s wife.
- I wanna be a businesswoman who enjoys improving and doing what she loves.
- I wanna be a teacher whose students can’t wait to learn from her.
- I wanna be a youtuber that can help lots of viewers.
- I wanna be a maker of something. (I don’t know what that is yet because I have never been good at making something out of my hands.)
- I wanna be a daughter of God whose faith is undying.
- I wanna be an active blogger whose articles are inspiring and fun to read.
- I wanna be a good friend to everyone most especially the ones who need love, respect and listening ears.
- I wanna be a good woman. I wanna be a successful woman. I wanna be a happy woman.
It is not that I am unhappy for what I am now. But having to face a new stage of life as a woman who only stays inside a house makes me think much if I can ever be those women. I know that my baby in my womb now should be my inspiration to be better in all aspects of life. I know that very well. So I hope, I can really put this thinking into action.
To those who can read this article, most especially to moms already, I am hoping to hearing from you…
RoseofAutumn 